Restorative Practice - ages 3-7

Behaviour management techniques in the classroom are always something that’s never felt quite right to me. Was I doing it wrong? Why did I seem to reward the children with the worst behaviour as soon as they showed good listening? Why was I encouraging oracy in the classroom and then stopping them from talking whilst working because we needed silence? We are told to set expectations from the get go but, what does that even mean? No matter what I tried something just never felt quite right.

I had restorative practice training at school and I absolutely loved all that it stands for and I felt as though I was finally getting somewhere. I then went on Forest School training and my course leader began talking about behaviour in the forest. We had an in-depth discussion about behaviour management in the classroom and how it can be damaging to children. It was a real eye opener and he gave me some links to research for my coursework. After lots of reading, I decided to choose this area as my target for this year. My head teacher was very supportive and allowed me the freedom to try my own behaviour management techniques. I have a very diverse class this year and I couldn’t wait to share all that I found.

In our school, we have a traffic light reward system which allows the children to collect points. The school then set prizes for different achievements e.g. you will receive a certificate when you reach 100 points and a special badge when you reach 1000 points. 

I questioned whether this supports our restorative approach and decided not to use it this year. I didn’t like how children just expected a reward each time I praised them. I wanted them to feel proud of themselves without it.

I build relationships with children super easy and I was confident and ready to get going with this as my main behaviour management technique. 

The year got off to a great start. Relationships were built quickly and I was loving my new class. Being a newly qualified Forest School Leader, I was now out of class two afternoons a week for sessions with other classes. This meant that my class had two teachers covering my class. These teachers were consistently covering me on the same days each week.

After a while the cracks started to show! I had those relationships in place and things were great when I was in class but, when I wasn’t, the complaints started to arise. I was then out of school on training for a whole week and that’s when things got really bad. I came back to (what felt like) absolute mayhem. It was time to re-evaluate.

I then started to think back to my psychology degree. Children need clear boundaries. I did a whole unit on it. How could I forget? Children need boundaries to learn how to behave but also to feel safe! They need them to be consistent so they know what to expect. Did my ‘relationships only’ approach give them clear boundaries?

I still believe that relationships are great. Infact, they’re so important! Children need those connections with us and we need those relationships to understand their needs. We also need them to build mutual trust and respect. This is still true. These children are so young and have such a variety of different needs. Can we really allow them to make their own choices when they might not even understand between right and wrong yet? Do they even understand what we are explaining to them with our restorative approach? They sometimes sound like they do but, why do they go and do it again?

Even as adults, we get it wrong ALL OF THE TIME but we learn from the consequences of it.

Okay, I’m now back on track. I have the relationships but this alone doesn’t work when I’m gone. This means that they will listen and respect me but they still don’t understand how to make those choices for themselves! I then tried to find techniques that any covering teacher can also use consistently when I’m gone.

I decided that I wanted a whole class approach that would set those boundaries and to teach them how I want them to behave in class.

I started off with routines. I started every day the exact same way and gave covering teachers the tools to do the same. We would write the date, go over our timetable for the day and discuss any cover teachers who may be coming. Then, we would write on the board the number of children who are present and name the ones who are missing. I would then choose my daily helpers e.g. line monitors who would have the responsibility of giving stickers to the children who are ready. 

I then decided that my whole class behaviour management was going to be the good old table points and a jar of cookies. The jar of cookies was for the whole class when listening on the carpet. I showed them how to politely stop someone from talking if they’re distracting them. This allowed me to continue teaching as they began telling each other to stop talking whilst I was. If they managed to collect enough cookies in the jar by working as a team to show good listening, everyone would get a reward at the end of the week. The table points are for working as a team on their tables to tidy, work quietly and help each other out. The winning table also got a reward at the end of the week. This may seem like a lot but, the rewards are usually a sticker or certificate and the satisfaction of winning.

I feel as though, all of the techniques I now have in place, allow the children to understand the behaviour that I am looking for. It gives them responsibility and requires teamwork. It also allows them to learn from one another which makes it easier for me and any cover teachers.

As for those expectations that everyone was telling me to set. I think it’s so important that you set these depending on your class. My class has so many needs that if I asked them to sit still and listen, I am only setting us all up to fail. They will get there eventually but it takes baby steps! If someone asks me why it isn’t happening 100% of the time yet, I feel confident that I can explain the needs of my children.

Upon reflection, I know this isn’t the end of the road but, I am happy to be going in the right direction. Relationships alone aren’t enough for young children and It also isn’t good for the teachers. Looking back, trying to use this approach alone really did affect my mental health. I was worrying each time I had cover or an assembly to attend and I was working harder trying to teach the children by just explaining. Children need to be shown desired behaviours, they need it explaining and then they need it repeated consistently and reinforced in different ways. They also need to learn that their actions (good and bad) have consequences because in the real world, they do!

Let me know your thoughts or tips in the comments below!